If I Were A Girl
by Chenonsisonoio
Summary: Kendall's in love with his best friend, who likes girls.
1. Chapter 1

**If I Were A Girl**

**Summary: Kendall's in love with his best friend, who likes girls.**

**Pairing: Kames**

**Rating: T (Might change; I don't know yet.)  
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**A/N: Absolutely unacceptable. I know; I am so sorry. But I can give you guys something to make up for it. Maybe. I don't know though, because it's been about seven months since I've posted something and I always promise to come back. But I am hoping that I mean it this time. Whether it's writing about BTR or TW or something that you guys have no idea what it is. If you guys want to see any of the other stories to come back, comment which one and I will be sure to get on it. :)**

**Um, I've been obsessed with these guys on YouTube that play Minecraft together and I've come to the point where I still like watching them, but I'm not as obsessed anymore. So, I really am hoping that I can start writing again.**

**Anyyways, here ya go! :D**

**Chapter One.**

Kendall wasn't sure when he had started feeling what he felt for his best friend, but he was fairly sure that he had felt this way for a while. Kendall never told anyone about his feelings, because who falls for their best friend who happened to be the same sex? No one, that's who. Okay, well, maybe a couple people do. But not many people. And besides, Kendall always thought that he was straight. So, it wasn't like Kendall was ready to admit to anyone – let alone himself – that he was gay.

Okay, like stated above, Kendall didn't tell anyone about his feelings. That didn't stop people from finding out, though. Kendall's other best friends, James and Carlos, found out that he was in love with his best friend when Kendall clearly didn't know how to stop from staring at James. Well, that's a lie. He _knows_ how to stop, he just chooses not to stop; because really? James is like a god.

The thing is, James is straight. More than that, James has a girlfriend. And she's gorgeous and funny and amazing, but most of all, she's perfect for him. Kendall hated thinking that, but it was the truth. Stacy, James' girlfriend, moved here shortly after the school year started and she helped him to keep up with his school work. Shortly after, James had announced that he and Stacy had gotten together. That news broke Kendall's heart, but Kendall knew that he couldn't stop them from going out.

"Kendall?" He snapped out of whatever fantasy of his that stared him and James. "Are you alright?"

Kendall turned his head away from the corner of the wall that he had been staring at to look James in the eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"Your zoning out, you sure you're alright?" Carlos said from the left of James.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just thinking about things."

"Well, I gotta go." James stated, standing from the couch to walk towards the front door of the apartment. "I got a date with Stacy."

"Bye, Jamie!" Carlos exclaimed, moving his attention from Kendall to James, before going back to Kendall once James left the apartment. "What were you thinking about?"

"Uh, it's-it's nothing, Carlos. Just thinking."

But Carlos wasn't dumb enough to believe anything that Kendall said, because Carlos and Kendall have been best friends longer than with any of the other boys. "Was it James?"

Kendall hated that Carlos and Logan always knew what he was thinking about; especially when it came to a certain brunette that happened to be dating someone that wasn't himself. So, every time that Carlos or Logan asked him about his thoughts, Kendall mentally cursed at himself for being so obvious.

"Uh," Instead of denying the questions completely, Kendall just muttered, "Maybe?"

Carlos let out a sigh before addressing Kendall's hesitance. "Kendall, look man. I know that you're in love with James, but really I think that it's time to get over him."

"I don't -" Kendall cut himself off by letting out a frustrated sigh and running his hands through his hair. "I know, Carlos."

"Well, come on then! Call up Jo, who's really into you, and ask her out this Friday." Carlos's eyes widened at a thought that ran through his head. "Do a double date with James! That way, you can see how much James cares for Stacy and you can get over him."

XxX

By the time that Friday rolled around, Kendall was a nervous wreck. He was running his hand through his hair every three seconds, looking down at his phone to check the time every minute, and his leg was bouncing up and down in a frantic manner. But Kendall wasn't nervous about the plans for the evening – well, maybe he was. Because Jo just called about a half hour ago saying that she couldn't make it and that didn't stop James from allowing Kendall to join him and Stacy. So, Kendall was nervous being alone with James and Stacy as a third wheel. Kendall had tried to get out of going on the date, but James had insisted. And really. Kendall can't say no to James and his hazel eyes.

Which led him to checking the time every minute on the dot, his leg bouncing, running his hand through his hair.

What had made things worse, was that two minutes before they were supposed to go and pick up Stacy, James came running out of the room that the two shared and looked at Kendall with sad puppy dog eyes. So, Kendall knew that he wasn't going to enjoy what the tall brunette was going to tell him.

"Looks like it's just the two of us tonight…"

"Wh-what happened?" Kendall stuttered out trying to remain calm. He shouldn't have to be worrying about whether or not he was showing his emotions, but that's exactly what he was doing. And James was always able to read his emotions. So, really, Kendall was screwed.

"She canceled, said that she had to work on a project for school and that she had to reschedule our date. So, that leaves the two of us at home. Alone."

Kendall just sat there for a few seconds, unsure of how to respond to that. He had a weird feeling about tonight and he didn't think that being alone with James was such a good idea, but he didn't want to cause James to become suspicious of Kendall and what was going through his head. However, Kendall wasn't given time to come up with something or open his mouth to agree because James was speaking and shocking Kendall with the meaning of what he was saying.

"I think we need to talk."

Remaining nonchalant, Kendall replied. "Oh? About what?"

Kendall was hoping that James hadn't found out about his feelings and just wanted to talk about the band or something. But reality wasn't as nice as his hopes.

"About the fact that I like girls."

"I know that, James. I don't see why we have to talk about this."

"We have to talk about this because I know that you're in love with me and I want to make sure that things are clear between us. You and I? We are just friends. That's all we ever will be."

"I'm not. I'm not in love with you, James." Kendall lied. He wasn't about to ruin their friendship because of something like feelings that weren't returned. So, there was no way he was agreeing with James about this. "I don't know where you got that, but I can promise you that I don't love you like that. As a friend? Sure. But nothing more." He wasn't sure whether to be relieved to see the shock on James' face or to be upset that James would just give up and go with what clearly was Kendall lying about his feelings.

"As long as you're sure."

"I am." Kendall smiled a little, hoping that James actually believed him and not just going along with what Kendall was saying.

"Good."

**A/N: WOOO! A NEW STORY! :D**

**Guys, so. What do you think? YES? OR NAH? Next chapter?  
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	2. AUTHOR'S NOTE

****PLEASE READ THIS; DON'T IGNORE****

**This is only an author's note, but I feel like it's important. I have a few things to mention and I don't know whether people read my A/N: before reading the chapters, anyways. So, please read? And I've posted this on every story that I've started but haven't finished. That way if someone reads one and not the others then they get to see this too. So, if you read more than just this story you probably already read this. So, sorry about that. I just want everyone reading my stories to see this.**

**First: Um, I changed my name? It was kandis-renea, now it's chenonsisonoio. Um, I use that for everything else, so I thought I should change that. I didn't mention this in the chapter, which is why this is being mentioned first. I don't know if you guys noticed the change of name or just assumed that I was someone else, but I am the one that wrote Bite My Tongue and Make You Mine? And if you guys noticed that, then THANKYOU! But I don't think most did because it's been quite some time since I've been on here and I never mentioned anything about a change of name.**

**Second: There is a poll on my profile (account?). It's about what you want to be continued on here; which storied I've started and you want me to finish. Or if you just want me to throw them all away and start anew. I will, however, be continuing If I Were A Girl (one that I just posted the first chapter of) because I had originally planned on it as a One Shot but thought that it deserved to be a little longer (that doesn't mean that it'll last that long, I just wanted more than one chapter. I haven't decided how long it'll be though or how it'll turn out yet).**

**Third: If you read Bite My Tongue and Make You Mine, I posted the Finale One Shot (In The End); if you haven't read that. It's been up for a while, but I don't remember posting anything about it or many of you guys reading. So, I figured I'd remind you about that and/or let you know.**

**Fourth: I really would appreciate for feedback on this because I don't know who's actually reading these or who's just clicking on stories and clicking off. I miss you guys. :(**

**Fifth: I plan on staying. Whether that's writing more Big Time Rush, Teen Wolf, other things that I get into, or things that you guys don't even know about. But I can't do that without your guys' feedback in one way or another because I don't know what you guys want. I'm hoping that this Author's Note will change all of that.**

**And Sixth: I don't actually have anything else to talk about. I just felt the need to have a sixth one. But honestly, I mean what I said. I miss you guys and I wish that we were back together again. I'm sorry that I disappeared the way that I did because it kind of was abrupt and I never finished things off. Or even told you guys what happened. And I want to give back and make it up to you. So, please review and tell me what you guys want to see. Or even just vote? I'd appreciate seeing it in your own words because it seems more intimate and personal, but I don't want to force you into anything that you don't want.**

**Annyways, I just. I'm sorry, again, guys. I don't think I'll ever be done saying that. But it's getting late and I was up early. So, I'm gonna leave it at this and hope that you guys will read through the whole thing and not just click out. If you have gotten this far, ILOVEYOUSOMUCH! :D**

**Peace 3**


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